Engagement and insecurity

So let me first start out by saying some of this post comes from a little bit of hurt feelings that I received today. A girl dreams of getting engaged, well I think most do. And it really is an amazing feeling. It is a commitment towards marriage and acceptance and love etc... But then once you get engaged at least when I did your life becomes a display. How did he propose, ring Picts on Facebook (which I refuse to do), when are you getting married, where are you getting married. And for me that is when it began. Now this is coming from someone that always has lots of opinions and am more than happy to share them, but seriously I would hope that I was never as mean and judgmental as some people have been to me recently...at the same time I guess what goes around comes around. Ouch! Someone told me the day they got engaged they reserved the venue because they couldn't imagine how anyone would want to have it somewhere else. Then they asked me where my wedding was, followed by "oh it's not downtown...I have never heard of that place???". Seriously?? Other comments include...oh you know it could rain if you do an outdoor wedding right? Wow no I had totally not thought of that thanks for bringing that to my attention. I told a friend we were using similar flowers at the rehearsal dinner as the wedding...that way we could reuse and save money. Response: "that will ruin the reveal of your wedding colors on your wedding day". All I can say to them is no offense but I cannot remember a single persons rehearsal dinner flowers except for 1, and it wasn't the person that said it. I am just venting now. The point is I am sorry if I ever made anyone feel that way! Despite loving to cut up and acting silly sometimes I really don't like to feel like my life is on display. It makes me feel really self conscious and insecure. It also makes me try to be more sensitive about the things I say to other people. I am sure at some point I have said something that has made someone feel the same way I feel, and that hurts my heart! The truth is at the end of the day the only thing that people will know you for is your character, how well you love, honesty, integrity, and the kind of friend you are. That is why in the next 10 months I am going to be more careful of what I say, try to be less judgmental and more loving, less opinionated and more accepting. I will be planning an event that lasts 8 hours, while the "life display" continues I hope that people see a soft, sweet, compassionate person, that will hopefully be an impression for years to come. Long after the memories of may 11, 2013 fade.

heavy on the veggie...

So a friend of mine has started a blog: http://heavyontheveggie.com/ And I have to admit at first I thought it was a little out there, but of course I was a little curious too. So last weekend I watched the movie Forks over Knives. While I scrutinized a lot of the movie I also was a little more intrigued. I watched a few more netflix movies on how America was unhealthy, fat and hurting the planet. I went to work that night and contemplated getting the $5 baja fresh nachos (2020 calories and 101 grams of fat which I had actually never ordered because I figured they were horrible for you so I looked up the nutrition facts for a little more motivation)... but they are $5.00? I just got this nagging feeling inside of me that there could be some changes to improve my quality of life and well being. So I continued researching and reading about this whole meatless monday and going local concept. And thought I mean really why not try it what do I have to lose. So I proceeded to get tons of recipes and even got a whole vegan shopping list and meal plan going. Now let me just say that one book tells you to detox your kitchen, however I didn't do this. I have 2 fridges so I just put all of the bad stuff in the garage fridge and made the inside fridge the "good fridge". I figured over the summer I could use the bad stuff when my nephews come over or when I have out of town guests coming that want a hamburger. After all I do have alot of meat buy one get one that I couldn't just throw out. And who knows how long this whole new thing is going to last? I went to a local farmers market store (the vegetable bin) and Whole foods and I even stopped in at Trader Joes (how so many people are obsessed with that place is beyond me). Came home and was already feeling healthier and happier and I haven't even started eating right? So 4 day update: I actually do feel better. I have found that some of my favorite restaurants have vegan and vegetarian options. I decided to be vegan at home...vegetarian when eating out. I mean I am just trying to be realistic with all of this for starters who knows how long this will last? I think some of it maybe mind over matter. walking into the house with a huge bowl of fresh local fruit just makes me feel like I have helped my body and my planet. I saw Ellen talk about how she is vegan and she feels much less anxious now that she is not eating meat. I thought it was kind of insightful. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UeSA2j4oiDA So those are my thoughts for the day. Hopefully maybe this has inspired some of you :)

6 month update

1. I got a job working at the MUSC Children's hospital...working on the pediatric cardiology floor. I am honored to work there especially since the program recently got nationally recognized! 2. Giles and I got engaged!!! We also set a date. May 11th, 2013. After we set a date I kindof went through an engagement slump. It was still a year off which just seemed like forever. It is going to work out well for us though as almost everytwhere was booked, Giles' business partner is going to be ovrsees on a military assignement, and now I can have a SPRING Wedding! I never really thought I would get as into it as I have. I get so excited now looking at bright flowers and lace dresses and the like. I never really thought I was so much of a girly girl but the other day I went into Lily Pulitzer and wanted almost everything in the place. I have also gotten really into paper. Invitations and stationary...I could spend a day going around to all of the different paper shops in town and then have a cup of yogurt for dinner and be perfectly content! 3. I haven't blogged in forever mainly because I haven't had time. I know that that is a lame excuse as so many of you other bloggers have jobs and kids etc. I think that the other reason I havent blogged in a while is because when I really dug deep and thought about it I began to feel convicted about blogging. I mean I know that sounds stupid but what was really the point of me blogging? Once I really started to think about I became really convicted. I mean really blogging made me feel good. When I would sign on and see that 200 had read a post of mine I became prideful...wow I am such a good writer and so interesting that people want so bad to read what I have to say. I wasn't really contributing anything to their life, society etc. I just felt like it was a big brass show of me blowing my own horn. That being said I think that my blog may change a little bit. I am hopefully going to come up with alot more meaningful things to say and share so that this will be a forum for encouragement to those of you that are still out there reading this :) Until my next profound thought that is it for now :)

don't keep checking the mail...

I haven't been able to get it together (yet again this year) and put together any Christmas cheer...and by that I mean a Christmas card! I have been busy finishing up school, studying for the boards looking for a job etc. I fully intend to get my life together by next year.

I read a blog about people taking you off their mailing list if they don't get a card from you, PLEASE DON'T. I really do love getting all of them (which sounds really selfish). Maybe I could send out some 4th of July cards surely I can get a cute picture, choose a card, and get something out in 6 months. But then what picture would I use for the 2012 Christmas card...because we all know finding 2pictures is impossible! Especially when you have a verticle picture but want a horizontal card etc.

Yes I realize many of you probably pick out the card, color cordinate your outfits to the font, and get a professional portrait done. I don't think I will ever get it together enough to pull that off...but just know your effort doesn't go unnoticed!

So basically I am sorry! I hope that this doesn't spoil your holiday or take away from the joy of getting the mail this time of year. Look on the brightside Facebook has a whole new layout and you can just look at my timeline for the past 4 years instead.

goals for 2012

Get a job

Be a better friend

Loose 6 pounds

AND get a new fridge...this one if by chance Lowes wants to send it to me for free:



http://www.lowes.com/SearchCatalog?identifier=Dual&storeId=10151&N=4294857963+5003720+4294765678&Ne=121&langId=-1&Ns=p_product_prd_lis_ord_nbr%7C0%7C%7Cp_product_qty_sales_dollar%7C1&catalogId=10051

officially a nurse

Finally I graduated December 3rd, 2011. It was a Looooong road to get to this place. Over the past month or so I have been overwhelmed by thanksgiving for friends and family that have been such a huge support in this journey.

The day of graduation I felt a huge sense of accomplishment and also a huge sense of relief. I still have go get a job and pass the boards but the weight of daily assignments and projects and tests has been lifted.

I think I look rejuvenated?


Giles on the other hand got a horrible virus the afternoon of graduation and was therefore my first patient...hence why he looks not so hot.




Now it is time to get back to the books as I take the boards Thursday and lets just admit I have been a total slacker for the past week.

sorry?

I know I promise to post and then don't. Please forgive me I have been a little busy. Not that I haven't had about a milion thoughts to share I just never seem to have the time to do it. OR I am afraid to start because I know I have no self control and will get sucked in for hours. I am working on some updates and in the mean time please accept my apology.

PS I did just join pintrest so I haven't been a complete slacker?